Farting on planes is big news these days. One woman made headlines by lighting a match to cover the smell of her own farts; the plane was forced to land.
People do fart on planes - the pressurized cabin air almost ensures it. No one wants to smell another passenger's gas, but there is only so much you can do when it's someone else, next to you, on the plane. And there is no guarantee that people in First or Business Class aren't farting, either. In fact, the "fartee" could be you.
So....what if it's YOUR gaseous emissions? Everybody toots. Not a subject most people like to discuss. But for starters, don't pretend the farts are not happening. If you can smell it, other passengers can too. They know they aren't farting. They can probably guess it's you. Of course, they don't have to guess if your flatulent outbursts are noisy.
Unless you only have one or two little "passes of the gasses", you might consider helping nature take its course:
- On a short hop you can try to hold them in.
- Be mindful. Try to fart both before boarding, and as soon as you exit. Use the toilets in airport terminals if it might assist the process.
- Try to move your bowels in the john as soon as you can safely leave your seat. Sometimes putting your head between your legs helps things along, as you sit on the throne. Stay in there for a while if you need to.
- Tums or other medication might soothe things down internally. It's worth a shot.
- Ask a flight attendant if there is an empty corner of the plane to sit in. Explain you are having a problem with gas. They will get it, and hopefully, move you.
- Turn up the air vent to help the plane circulate better. Every bit helps. No one wants to smell your farts.
- If you are courageous, try apologizing to the immediate radius and say you have a stomach flu. You might get sympathy points. Or someone will have an air freshener or something to hang on your seat.
Before your flight
Prevention is the best solution! Next time you fly, avoid gaseous foods the day before. Foods to avoid include:
- beans
- cabbage
- corn
- cauliflower
- broccoli
- bell peppers
- milk
- bread
- eggs
- beer
- raisins and dried fruits
Doesn't leave much left to eat, does it? Try taking Beano before flying if you can't be bothered to watch your diet. According to the Beano website, taking this liquid supplement at the start of a meal will " help prevent gas before it starts....(to) help prevent gas, bloating and other discomfort."
Medically Speaking, some people have actual intestinal issues that cause flatulence. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor if there is a medication or supplement recommended to control gas. There are also underwear products designed to hold in the scent of farts. Consider it act of kindness to give that a try.
